Comparison & Jehovah Jireh

Comparison is a deadly thing.

And it’s becoming a problem.

A lot of my friends are entering into their third year of post-university employment. They’re climbing up the career ladder, becoming more confident in what they do/realising that this isn’t the career for them, getting more experience and getting paid more.

They don’t think twice about going to visit friends at the weekend (train fare + dinner out + night out + extras). Quite a few are living at home and not having to pay exorbitant rent (rent + bills + council tax). They seem to be going on exotic holidays every five minutes (air fare + hotels + food + transport + extras). They’re saving enough to be able to buy their own place in a few years (I don’t even know what this entails because it’s so far from my reality). They don’t spend time staring at the figures on their budget spreadsheet willingly them to somehow re-arrange themselves so that there's more left after the standard outgoings. They don’t have to make the lame but painfully true excuse of “ I'm sorry but I really can’t afford it.” They don’t have to swallow their pride and accept other people paying for them.

Comparison is a deadly thing.

I might sound bitter but I do not begrudge my friends their lifestyles. They made choices that have put them where they are today. As have I. 

I am about to start my first full-time salaried job. Praise Jesus! I am super excited about the job and super excited to actually be earning proper money (as is my Dad). But without carefully sticking to budget it won't work.

Sometimes I feel like Rachel, Joey and Phoebe in that episode of Friends where they try to explain to the others that they can’t afford all the expensive dinners and birthday celebrations. And I get that same blank look with a slight hint of disbelief. 

And on the days when I see what I don't have I struggle to remember that money is not the foundation of security. 

I struggle to remember that life is not about having a ‘good’ job, nice house and a couple of nice holidays a year.

I struggle to remember that in comparison to the 82% of the world who don’t have a bank account I am materially rich. In comparison to the families in Tower Hamlets struggling to provide enough food for their families I am materially rich.

I struggle to remember that the treasure of this earth can be destroyed but the treasure of heaven is eternal.

And I struggle to remember that I serve Jehovah Jireh - the God who sees, the God who provides and the God who will provide.

Comparison is a deadly thing.

Her phone is newer than mine. His hair is better than mine. She has a bigger house than me. He had a more expensive holiday than me. They have a nicer family than me. She's smarter than me. She has more money then me. He has better friends than me. His job is better then mine. Her car is nicer than mine. Their life is better than mine.

Comparison is a deadly thing. It steals peace, joy, contentment and life. It is based on the lie that if you had all those things you would be happier. 

I am thankful that through my struggles Jehovah Jireh, the God who sees, is with me. 

I am thankful that the God who sees reminds me that my worth is not based on my bank balance, savings account or perceived success of this world. 

I am thankful that the God who provides reminds of His provision over the last 12 months. 

I am thankful that Jehovah Jireh  reminds me that I should place my trust in Him, the God who sees all, the God who provides all, and the God who will provide.