Back to School

So, this week I went back to school. But instead of having to remember my homework and P.E. kit I had to remember the names of 30 kids and the names of 2D shapes (how many sides does a hexagon have again?). Welcome to the life of a teaching assistant. 

So how has my first week been?

Educational.

I have learned that my reception teacher’s catch phrase of “Don’t knock me I’m not a door” is a completely valid phrase to use when working with children.

I have learned that despite being relatively well educated (or atleast I made it through The System with no major problems) I don’t actually know the basic rules of grammar. I can use (most of) them and I choose to ignore several, but I don’t actually know the rules – this is kind of a problem when you’re expected to help others learn them.

I have learned that its harder to remember the names  

I have learned that I need to listen when the teacher gives instructions. 

I have learned race is something 6 and 7 years old discuss, and one of the first questions they’ll ask you (just because one is not white does not mean that one is not English yeah).

I have learned that I need to seperate my wardrobe into clothes that are nice but not too nice for school (just incase some kid throws up on me – paranoid much? Not me)

I have learned that male primary school teachers are human too (who ever would have thought).

I have learned that teaching would be much easier with less children or more adults.

I have learned that I am in danger of turning into my mother sooner than I thought – my mother has been a teaching assistant for over ten years and I'm finding myself using some of her favourite phrases.

I have learned that you should never judge a job by your first day.

I have learned that I need to find where I left my angry voice (somewhere in 2008 I think).

I have learned that I never want to be a teacher. If I ever tell you I want to be a teacher please ask for the real Rachel to please stand up because I have clearly been abducted and replaced by my stepford wife replacement.

As you can see – it’s been educational.

Am I looking forward to next week? I’ll let you know Sunday evening.

C. S. Lewis - What A Ledge

So, I have one of those C. S. Lewis Quote apps on my ipod. The man was a Ledge (even if you take Narnia out of the equation). He had something to say about everything. Not all of it I agree with but here are a few thoughts to mull over:

The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day.

Critics who treat ‘adult’ as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence  And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even early manhood this concern about being adult is really a mark of arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly, when I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

In those days a boy on the classical side officially did almost nothing but classics. I think this was wise; the greatest service we can do to education today is to teach a few subjects. No on e has time to do more than a very few things well before he is twenty, and when we force a boy to be a mediocrity in a dozen subjects we destroy his standards, perhaps for life.

It is not your business to succeed, but to do right. When you have done so, the rest lies with God. 

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no-one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness, but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

Comparison & Jehovah Jireh

Comparison is a deadly thing.

And it’s becoming a problem.

A lot of my friends are entering into their third year of post-university employment. They’re climbing up the career ladder, becoming more confident in what they do/realising that this isn’t the career for them, getting more experience and getting paid more.

They don’t think twice about going to visit friends at the weekend (train fare + dinner out + night out + extras). Quite a few are living at home and not having to pay exorbitant rent (rent + bills + council tax). They seem to be going on exotic holidays every five minutes (air fare + hotels + food + transport + extras). They’re saving enough to be able to buy their own place in a few years (I don’t even know what this entails because it’s so far from my reality). They don’t spend time staring at the figures on their budget spreadsheet willingly them to somehow re-arrange themselves so that there's more left after the standard outgoings. They don’t have to make the lame but painfully true excuse of “ I'm sorry but I really can’t afford it.” They don’t have to swallow their pride and accept other people paying for them.

Comparison is a deadly thing.

I might sound bitter but I do not begrudge my friends their lifestyles. They made choices that have put them where they are today. As have I. 

I am about to start my first full-time salaried job. Praise Jesus! I am super excited about the job and super excited to actually be earning proper money (as is my Dad). But without carefully sticking to budget it won't work.

Sometimes I feel like Rachel, Joey and Phoebe in that episode of Friends where they try to explain to the others that they can’t afford all the expensive dinners and birthday celebrations. And I get that same blank look with a slight hint of disbelief. 

And on the days when I see what I don't have I struggle to remember that money is not the foundation of security. 

I struggle to remember that life is not about having a ‘good’ job, nice house and a couple of nice holidays a year.

I struggle to remember that in comparison to the 82% of the world who don’t have a bank account I am materially rich. In comparison to the families in Tower Hamlets struggling to provide enough food for their families I am materially rich.

I struggle to remember that the treasure of this earth can be destroyed but the treasure of heaven is eternal.

And I struggle to remember that I serve Jehovah Jireh - the God who sees, the God who provides and the God who will provide.

Comparison is a deadly thing.

Her phone is newer than mine. His hair is better than mine. She has a bigger house than me. He had a more expensive holiday than me. They have a nicer family than me. She's smarter than me. She has more money then me. He has better friends than me. His job is better then mine. Her car is nicer than mine. Their life is better than mine.

Comparison is a deadly thing. It steals peace, joy, contentment and life. It is based on the lie that if you had all those things you would be happier. 

I am thankful that through my struggles Jehovah Jireh, the God who sees, is with me. 

I am thankful that the God who sees reminds me that my worth is not based on my bank balance, savings account or perceived success of this world. 

I am thankful that the God who provides reminds of His provision over the last 12 months. 

I am thankful that Jehovah Jireh  reminds me that I should place my trust in Him, the God who sees all, the God who provides all, and the God who will provide. 

                                      

Hope

I’ve been thinking a lot about hope lately.

These three things will remain: faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13 v 13 

I don’t think I’ve ever really full-on hoped for something with every fibre of my being. Sure there’s been things that I’ve wanted, but I’ve always known I would be ok if I didn’t get them.

So I've never completely understood why hope was in there.

Until recently.

A youth-worker friend was telling me about the hopelessness of some of the youth she works with: “They don’t know what they want to do in the future, they have no plans, no hope in doing anything other than live off benefits.”

Another friend who works for a small charity said similar things about some of the clients she sees: “Some of our clients have no intention of doing anything to change their circumstances, they have no hope that anything they do will change their situation.”

hope·less

adj \ˈhō-pləs\

Definition of HOPELESS

a : having no expectation of good or success : despairingb : not susceptible to remedy or curec : incapable of redemption or improvement

2

a : giving no ground for hope : desperateb : incapable of solution, management, or accomplishment :impossible

— hope·less·ness noun

There are many people with no hope that their situation will change. No hope that they can change their situation. They are hopeless.

Hope is what keeps us going in the toughest of situations - hope that it can and will get better.

Hope is what motivates us to try and change our situation - hope that we can do it.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life – Proverbs 13 v 12

But hope is what so many people are lacking. 

So in order to serve those who find themselves in need, whether spiritually, emotionally or physically, maybe what we need to do is reinvigorate hope.

How do we do this? Answers on a postcard please.

Off to University?

So you’re about to depart the comfy confines of your mother’s house (with the never empty fridge and the Laundry Fairy that cleans your clothes for you) to fend for yourself in the strange world of university life. Here are my words of wisdom for those of you embarking on this historic journey:

1. Be  Social. Do you want to have no friends? Do you want to spend all your free time sitting in your room by yourself staring at a wall? I’m hoping the answer is no – so get out and meet people. Sure, you’re bound to meet some people you never want to hang out with again (always make sure you have a tenner and number for a local registered cab firm in case you want to make an early exit). But you’re also bound to meet some friends for life – shout out to my uni homegirls!  

2. Get used to answering the following questions: name, home town, course, halls. The proactive among you may want to get this printed on a business card to avoid having to repeat it a hundred times a day.

3. Find other people who love Jesus. When university life tests your faith and your boundaries it’s good to have other people facing the same pressures alongside you. Your Christian Union will most likely have a few events during freshers week – so go to them. University is often a make or break point for many. Find your CU here.

4. Find a church. So important I should have put it first. The first few weeks of term churches quite often put on a student lunch – meet with other Christians and free food - ForTheWin!

5. Get to know the people you live with.

6. Work out a budget and stick to it. No-one wants to eat nothing but beans and toast for the last few weeks of term because you bought a new pair of boots or a couple of computer games when your loan came it. Check out this article for some budgeting advice.

7. Be generous – share without expecting anything in return.

8. Join a few random clubs and societies. They often have free trials the first week. Pick a couple of things you’re interested in and something random that you’ve always wanted to try but never have. Join the first week is often free so take the opportunity to try out something different.

9. Decorate your room. At least stick a couple of posters up. Makes it much more homely and less clinical.

10. Eat properly. Laziness is not an excuse for eating pasta and pizza everyday. Add a few vegetables to your meals. Eat some fruit. You’ll feel physically better for it. Buy a student cook-book or check here for some easy recipes. Can't decide what to cook? Check this website for help deciding. 

11.   Contact your parents every once in a while – they want to know if you’re still alive.

12.  Study. Believe it or not you are primarily there to study. Don’t fall for the lie that university is all about staying up late, drinking too much, getting up late and missing lectures. You are there to study. Make it a priority.

13. Don't forget that through all the ups and downs of uni life God is with you.  He will never leave you.